“Upper-Intermediate Speaking IV · Stand-up Chinese” has 5 exercises — the first 3 are free
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Grandma's Leftovers — a Stand-up Set, Word by Word
脱口秀《奶奶的剩菜》
Eight minutes of stand-up, thirteen dissected punchlines, one unbeatable grandma. Watch first — the transcript can wait.
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Sign up / sign inCloned voice — synthesised in a real teacher's timbre, not a recording of her.
Watch the set — no transcript yet!
8 minMeet the kitchen words看图学词
No pressure — just making it stick.
天一冷，我就想吃妈妈做的那锅____，肉、土豆、白菜都在里面。
tiān yì lěng，wǒ jiù xiǎng chī mā ma zuò de nà guō ____，ròu、tǔ dòu、bái cài dōu zài lǐ miàn。
When it gets cold I crave mum's one-pot stew — meat, potatoes and cabbage all in.
你帮我把汤____到碗里，每人一碗。
nǐ bāng wǒ bǎ tāng ____ dào wǎn lǐ，měi rén yì wǎn。
Ladle the soup into bowls — one each.
面熟了，快把面从锅里____出来，不然就坨了。
miàn shú le，kuài bǎ miàn cóng guō lǐ ____ chū lái，bù rán jiù tuó le。
The noodles are done — scoop them out before they clump.
这瓶醋是奶奶自己____的，酸得特别正。
zhè píng cù shì nǎi nai zì jǐ ____ de，suān de tè bié zhèng。
Grandma brewed this vinegar herself — properly sour.
Picture check看图配词
No pressure — just making it stick.
看图配词：课件里的插画
Tap a picture, then choose its word. Picked wrong? Tap that picture and choose again. Match all the cards to finish.
The dialogue is folded away — open it when you want to check
Memory hook
一旦……就…… — once…, then…
Memory hook
V＋起来 — how it is when you try it
The two patterns, in use语言点练习
No pressure — just making it stick.
你____答应了别人，就一定要做到。
nǐ ____ dā ying le bié rén，jiù yí dìng yào zuò dào。
Once you have promised someone, you have to follow through.
这种蘑菇一旦吃错，____会中毒。
zhè zhǒng mó gu yí dàn chī cuò，____ huì zhòng dú。
Eat the wrong one of these mushrooms and you are poisoned.
Once he starts gaming, he forgets the time.
Tap the tiles in order — it checks itself when the sentence is complete. Tap a placed tile to take it back.
Your sentence
这个菜看起来一般，____特别香。
zhè ge cài kàn qǐ lai yì bān，____ tè bié xiāng。
The dish looks ordinary, but it tastes wonderful.
这句话说起来容易，____难。
zhè jù huà shuō qǐ lai róng yì，____ nán。
That is easy to say and hard to do.
This durian smells terrible and tastes sweet.
Tap the tiles in order — it checks itself when the sentence is complete. Tap a placed tile to take it back.
Your sentence
Choose the word — part one选词填空（上）
No pressure — just making it stick.
面熟了，快把面从锅里____出来，不然就坨了。
miàn shú le，kuài bǎ miàn cóng guō lǐ ____ chū lái，bù rán jiù tuó le。
Noodles are ready — fish them out before they clump.
别拿「再说吧」____我，我今天就要一句准话。
bié ná 「 zài shuō ba 」____ wǒ，wǒ jīn tiān jiù yào yí jù zhǔn huà。
Don't fob me off with 'we'll see' — I want a straight answer today.
他退休以后回老家____，每天钓鱼、下棋。
tā tuì xiū yǐ hòu huí lǎo jiā ____，měi tiān diào yú、xià qí。
After retiring he went home to enjoy the easy life — fishing and chess daily.
这道菜的____有点多，但其实一点也不难。
zhè dào cài de ____ yǒu diǎn duō，dàn qí shí yì diǎn yě bù nán。
The dish has quite a few steps, but none of them hard.
你能不能给我一个____的时间？别老说「再看看」。
nǐ néng bu néng gěi wǒ yí gè ____ de shí jiān？bié lǎo shuō 「 zài kàn kan 」。
Can you give me a definite time? Stop saying 'we'll see'.
Choose the word — part two选词填空（下）
No pressure — just making it stick.
妈妈给每个人都____了一碗汤。
mā ma gěi měi gè rén dōu ____ liǎo yì wǎn tāng。
Mum ladled out a bowl of soup for everyone.
连着加了三天班，我真的____了。
lián zhe jiā le sān tiān bān，wǒ zhēn de ____ liǎo。
Three days of overtime straight — I really can't hold up any more.
她嘴上说「随便」，____是「你可别选错了」。
tā zuǐ shàng shuō 「 suí biàn 」，____ shì 「 nǐ kě bié xuǎn cuò le 」。
She says 'whatever', but the subtext is 'don't you dare choose wrong'.
奶奶一辈子都很____，一个塑料袋能用三年。
nǎi nai yí bèi zi dōu hěn ____，yí gè sù liào dài néng yòng sān nián。
Grandma has been thrifty all her life — one plastic bag lasts three years.
看到老人一个人吃年夜饭，我心里有点____。
kàn dào lǎo rén yí gè rén chī nián yè fàn，wǒ xīn lǐ yǒu diǎn ____。
Seeing the old man eat New Year's dinner alone made my heart ache.
Did you really catch it?判断对错
No pressure — just making it stick.
奶奶不让家里人倒剩菜，但她自己可以把剩菜倒进新菜里。——这个说法____。
nǎi nai bú ràng jiā lǐ rén dǎo shèng cài，dàn tā zì jǐ kě yǐ bǎ shèng cài dǎo jìn xīn cài lǐ。——zhè ge shuō fǎ ____。
True or false, according to the set?
小五最喜欢吃的菜是番茄炒蛋。——这个说法____。
xiǎo wǔ zuì xǐ huān chī de cài shì fān qié chǎo dàn。——zhè ge shuō fǎ ____。
True or false, according to the set?
有一次奶奶把各种剩菜混在一起，一家五口只吃一盘菜。——这个说法____。
yǒu yí cì nǎi nai bǎ gè zhǒng shèng cài hùn zài yì qǐ，yì jiā wǔ kǒu zhī chī yì pán cài。——zhè ge shuō fǎ ____。
True or false, according to the set?
爷爷因为身体特别好，所以在医院只住了三天。——这个说法____。
yé ye yīn wèi shēn tǐ tè bié hǎo，suǒ yǐ zài yī yuàn zhī zhù le sān tiān。——zhè ge shuō fǎ ____。
True or false, according to the set?
弟弟当时才两岁，还不会说话。——这个说法____。
dì di dāng shí cái liǎng suì，hái bú huì shuō huà。——zhè ge shuō fǎ ____。
True or false, according to the set?
段子最后说的「底」只有「碗底」一个意思。——这个说法____。
duàn zi zuì hòu shuō de 「 dǐ 」 zhǐ yǒu 「 wǎn dǐ 」 yí gè yì si。——zhè ge shuō fǎ ____。
True or false, according to the set?
Ears only — hear the punchlines听力反应
No pressure — just making it stick.
What actually went bad?
What is this line really telling us?
How does Grandpa respond?
What does Grandma mean?
Before you go课后回顾
- Task A — Retell: tell the whole bit to a partner in 2–3 minutes, your own words, using at least 5 of today's new words.
- Task B — Write your own ad: copy the 茄皇 formula (rhyme + confident short lines + one 'credible' number) for a product you love, then stitch it into a small story of yours, callback included.
- Task C — Role-play: Grandma vs. grandchild, one minute, over this very plate of leftovers. You must use 一旦……就…… and one ……起来.
- Then watch the set one last time — no transcript. Count your laughs against round one.